Recovery from Emotional Deprivation for Neurotypical Partners in Neurodiverse Relationships
Dear NT Ladies,
My heart goes out to those who are experiencing the symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome. In some cases, the NT wife has been emotionally deprived for so long that it’s to the point now where there are mental and physical ramifications. Stress, trauma and repressed emotions have made many of these ladies feel as if they are losing their mind – and they have definitely lost a part of themselves. They often say things such as, "I’m not the same person I used to be."
This is why I felt strongly compelled to do this group (how could I NOT do it?). This is no way to live life, and a huge shift in dynamics has to happen. I’m not promoting separation or divorce, but I will be promoting ways for you to begin taking care of YOU. We will be doing some healing “emotional work” in our group.
We will be meeting one hour every week for four weeks, but you’re certainly welcome to continue as long as you need to. But the nice thing about this group is that the ladies can support one another in between our sessions on Skype. So, the support will be ongoing throughout the week, not just one hour per week.
Also, the ladies in the group are more than welcome to support one another long after sessions with me are completed. You will be able to bond with the other members and maintain contact over the subsequent months - and even years, if desired. THIS IS HUGE! Now you’ll have the moral support you’ve needed for so long.
I’ll be recording the sessions, so if you can’t attend live, there will still be some benefit to joining the group. You can type a message or send a voice message, and the members will get an alert that you have posted something – and can then respond immediately (or soon). In this way, support is ongoing and spontaneous.
Our next group will go from 12/7/23 to 12/28/23. We will be meeting on Thursdays at 3 PM – Eastern Standard Time. I hope this date/time works for you! If not, please consider joining anyway: You can watch the video-recording of the sessions, follow along with the assignments, and message other members as needed anytime you want – all of which will be the work needed to heal.
First-time member’s registration fee is $99.00 – but only $79.00 thereafter (if you decide to go another round).
If you’re ready to get started, register using the PayPal Buy Now button below. After you register, please email me [email@example.com] so I can send you the Skype link.
FYI: I’m limiting the group to 30 members or less, because I want there to be plenty of time for one-on-one attention (although you won’t be required to talk if you don’t feel comfortable doing so). When I hit 30, this particular group will be closed.
If you have any questions, please email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. I will respond within 24 hours to provide you with the details.
If your partner with ASD (or Aspergers) does not see his contribution to the relationship problems, and refuses to work on repairing the damage done, then I really want to hear from you!
Mark Hutten, M.A.
Unsolicited Testimonial [one of many]:
"Mark Hutten's Cassandra Syndrome Recovery Group in September 2021 has been life-changing for me. Before coming to this group, I was depressed to the point where I was wearing sweatshirts and pajama pants daily. I had no energy. I was surviving. While in Mark's group, I completed homework exercises. A lot of it was hard because it challenged me to face my negative emotions surrounding my husband being on the autism spectrum. I appreciated the chance to share my story a little bit during the Skype group video format class time. When Mark's program was over, I was left with a new support group of other women from all different age groups and backgrounds all going through the same experience as me.
We were all in a place of searching for a better future for ourselves. Many of them, like myself, are choosing to stay with their spouse on the autism spectrum. These women and I still log onto a group video call weekly, and we listen and offer encouragement to each other. It is priceless to learn the stories of people who are around the same age as me or older than me with a lot more life experience with marriage to someone on the autism spectrum. I reach out to one of them privately if I'm having a particularly difficult time at the moment.
In the past, I've tried standard therapy from those who didn't know as much as Mark does about autism and none of it has helped me the way that this group has. I'm starting to thrive. I started wearing jewelry again and wearing nice clothing at home. I have more energy to initiate and complete tasks, something that was too hard before. I am so grateful that I came across this group on Facebook and went through the program. (Mark, you may share this testimony on any platform publicly with my first name displayed.) Thank you, Stephanie M."
Emotional reciprocity is an essential human need. If this need is not being met - and the reason why is not understood - then mental and physical health will be negatively affected. The easiest way to understand Cassandra Syndrome is to relate it to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is caused by sunlight deprivation, which will cause a neuro-chemical imbalance in the brain. Cassandra Syndrome can also cause a neuro-chemical imbalance in the brain.
Symptoms of Cassandra Syndrome may include:
- Decreased interest in sex and physical contact
- Desire to oversleep and difficulty staying awake
- Disturbed sleep and early morning wakening
- Domestic abuse (emotional and/or physical)
- Extremes of mood and short periods of hypomania (over activity)
- Feeling confused/bewildered
- Feelings of anger, depression and anxiety
- Feelings of guilt
- Feelings of hopelessness and despair, sometimes apathy and loss of feelings
- High relational conflict with the ASD spouse
- Inability to carry out normal routine
- Irritability and desire to avoid social contact
- Loss of self/depersonalization
- Loss or gain in weight
- Low immune system (colds to cancer)
- Low self-esteem
- ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis)
- Mental Breakdown
- More vulnerable to infections and other illnesses
- PMT/female related problems
- Post-traumatic stress reactivity
- Reduced marital or relationship satisfaction
- Tension and inability to tolerate stress